Thursday, December 3, 2015

The Incas were a myth!

You may have heard someone talk about the Incas and how with great military strength they managed to create a huge kingdom covering a vast amount of territory. I'm sorry to say but that is in fact false. You see scientists only created the Inca theory because it was far more believable than what actually happened and they thought that the general public wouldn't be able to understand. You see in the early 12th century a snake named Paul was born from the virgin Kathy, this came as a surprise to Kathy and she wasn't ready to take responsibility for her creation so Paul was sent off to live by himself from an early age. Paul wandered the land for many months before he arrived at a beautiful mountain peak, where he decided to call home. Years passed and Paul was getting very lonely, the only animals he saw were just walking through the area to get home. So he came up with an idea to get the animals to stay on the mountain peak with him instead of going home. At that moment he started building and building he did it took him three years to make his first house that he called his own. He waited for friends to come from all around just to live in the house that he built, however when they came they never stopped to go into his house, instead they just kept on walking. This puzzled Paul, he went to his safe and got out his thinking cap. Paul thought, and thought for hours and hours until he finally he realized the reason they weren't stopping to come live at his house was because of just that, it was his house. So he went back to building and this time he was going to make a village that he thought would drive everyone from all over the mountain to come live with him and be his friend. Paul was getting better and better at building and it took him 15 years to build the entire village, but nobody wanted to go into his village either. Paul wondered if they thought that the village was just for Paul and nobody else. So he decided to make hundred of villages all over the land so everyone could have their own village and Paul could come and visit them. He got to work right away. After 200 years of hard manual labor Paul had finally completed his 100th village. After Paul had finished building, animals just started to come, and come they did in great numbers. Paul was the happiest snake on the mountain that day, but that happiness didn't last long with the rise of new friends came an even darker presence. Bats from all over the globe swarmed the villages invading every house with their creepy bat like wings. Paul knew if the bats didn't move out his newly acquired friends would, so he looked up a local exterminator that could help him with his bat problem. He sent a letter to sock'em informing them on the situations. After a few days a turtle with the sock'em logo on his shell appeared in the presence of Paul. Paul started to tell him about the situation but before he could finish what he was saying, the turtle ate him. Luckily for the animals that lived in the villages the turtle also ate all of the bats. Now you can understand why is was so hard for scientists to tell the general public about how the civilization was actually made. So next time your history teacher tells you about the Inca civilization tell him that is straight bullshit!

Monday, November 9, 2015


"Last hour I took the citizen test and got 80 out of 100 because I didn't know that there is 50 states in America"-Alex Reed
"Basically I hate almost everyone in the movie Grown Ups" -Alex Reed (Steve Buscemi is in Grown Ups)
"I hate the 'main' actors in Grown Ups" -Alex Reed (Adam Sandler is a main actor) (Come on Sandlernites lets stick together to defeat this punk)
"I just want to marry Mr. Erickson and pee pee pound all night" -Lincoln Myers